Empty Nest Syndrome = Grief
With children growing and becoming less dependent on you, the role of a mother starts to change. During their younger years, there were likely many occasions that you wished the children would clear off and give you some peace. But when they finally leave home, when they are no longer there to pester you for money, meals, and moral support, the chasm of emptiness can nearly swallow you whole. They've looked to you to help them their whole lives, whether that was changing their nappy, helping with homework, working through puberty, or calming nerves on their first date.
In the blink of an eye, they're suddenly taller than you, more independent, with their own minds, thoughts, and opinions. They venture out into the world, and your job is done. A job that might have driven you nuts on occasion but a task you took great pride in. Now, you're no longer needed.
The psychological effects of empty nest syndrome
When your children are no longer there, your mind can go into overdrive. "Did I do enough?" "Was I a good enough Mum?" Did I spend enough time with them when I had the chance?"
Anxiety and depression can quickly follow as you try to deal with worry, frustration, and the fact that you are no longer in control. You might be left to look on while your child makes mistakes you know will bring them sorrow. As that's before we even start on their choice of life partners, careers, or where they want to live. And what about you in your older years? What if they leave and never return?
All these feelings are normal. Horrible, but expected. Hold tight, they'll soon be calling for your recipe for Spag Bol or details of who they need to call to change a lightbulb!
Re-evaluate your role
When you're a mother, it's easy to forget the other coats you wear. (Let's be honest, they can be huge and heavy, with bottomless pockets!) But you may still be a sister, an aunt, a daughter, an employee, a volunteer, or a spouse.
Perhaps, now that you have the time, you should invest more energy into one or more of these roles. Would you like to rekindle a bit of romance with your spouse? Or what about working on furthering your career? Spending more time with friends and other extending family members might also bring you joy. Now you have the time and, perhaps, more energy, why not go for it?
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